Like a typical career services employee, I was checking my email when the title of one of them caught my eye. It was from an employer seeking temporary help, and the title of this one just seemed clever without sounding cliche. It was one of the few advertising emails that I actually read, that I was really happy that I opened it. It it is the inspiration for this blog post because this particular employer was trying to candidly help any one thinking about applying to the jobs. You can expect a few more blogs from me next week on the part-time job search, but let us discover how to be a sloppy and desperate job seeker.
1. Do not follow directions.
If you want to absolutely be overlooked in any job search, just do not do what the employer asked you to do when you apply for the job. This way, you can tell people that you applied for jobs, but you are guaranteed not to get a response.
2. Send a generic response.
Even though we are living in the 21st century, just don't bother to use any of the technology to update your resume or customize a letter. In this way, all of the employers can feel equally privileged to read your qualifications because they would just be lucky to even interview you. Better yet, make horrible spelling and grammar mistakes in your writing. Use acronyms and don't spell anything out. The employer should be smart enough to know what you meant to write.
3. Ask the employer to tell you about all of the job openings.
If you open your search this way, you can further emphasize that the employer is just lucky you even contacted the organization. I mean, people like YOU don't just ask for jobs every day, so why wouldn't an employer want to tell you all about the job openings. Really, what else is that person doing besides working?
4. Complain about your job search.
Truly sloppy and desperate job seekers will just tell the employer that a job is needed to pay the bills instead of telling the employer what you bring to the table. For extra measure, say how long you have been looking, and how tired you are of looking for a job. By being this honest, the employer will know that you will complain about things at work instead of offering solutions if you hired. You're just keepin' it real.
5. Wear inappropriate attire.
When asking about jobs in person or completing applications at the work site, do not wear something that is appropriate for that workplace. If it is a conservative employer, be sure to wear tight fitting, baggy, ripped or clothes with inappropriate remarks printed on them. You will make a lasting first impression, and there is no way you will improve your chances of being called for an interview.
There you have it. Five of the best ways to be a sloppy and desperate job seeker to improve your chances of NOT being interviewed for jobs. Next time, I'll write about the positive side of part-time employment, and some good ways to conduct your search. I can't promise you that I won't write about common mistakes again. I am just writing what I know, and about my own experiences.
1. Do not follow directions.
If you want to absolutely be overlooked in any job search, just do not do what the employer asked you to do when you apply for the job. This way, you can tell people that you applied for jobs, but you are guaranteed not to get a response.
2. Send a generic response.
Even though we are living in the 21st century, just don't bother to use any of the technology to update your resume or customize a letter. In this way, all of the employers can feel equally privileged to read your qualifications because they would just be lucky to even interview you. Better yet, make horrible spelling and grammar mistakes in your writing. Use acronyms and don't spell anything out. The employer should be smart enough to know what you meant to write.
3. Ask the employer to tell you about all of the job openings.
If you open your search this way, you can further emphasize that the employer is just lucky you even contacted the organization. I mean, people like YOU don't just ask for jobs every day, so why wouldn't an employer want to tell you all about the job openings. Really, what else is that person doing besides working?
4. Complain about your job search.
Truly sloppy and desperate job seekers will just tell the employer that a job is needed to pay the bills instead of telling the employer what you bring to the table. For extra measure, say how long you have been looking, and how tired you are of looking for a job. By being this honest, the employer will know that you will complain about things at work instead of offering solutions if you hired. You're just keepin' it real.
5. Wear inappropriate attire.
When asking about jobs in person or completing applications at the work site, do not wear something that is appropriate for that workplace. If it is a conservative employer, be sure to wear tight fitting, baggy, ripped or clothes with inappropriate remarks printed on them. You will make a lasting first impression, and there is no way you will improve your chances of being called for an interview.
There you have it. Five of the best ways to be a sloppy and desperate job seeker to improve your chances of NOT being interviewed for jobs. Next time, I'll write about the positive side of part-time employment, and some good ways to conduct your search. I can't promise you that I won't write about common mistakes again. I am just writing what I know, and about my own experiences.
