Many college students change their major, and some dread telling their family about it. If you fall into this camp, don’t worry. If presented properly, you can solicit their support. Here are some techniques to help you break the ice and prepare for the conversation.
1. Start the conversation early.
The longer you wait, the more shocked your parent(s) will be. They might also be hurt that you did not seek their input. If you think you can wait because you view them as aloof and disinterested, be careful. They could just be acting this way because they do not want to directly influence your decision. Make no assumptions, and take the initiative to begin the discussion.
2. Focus on your common ground and understand that they have good intentions.
Both you and your family want you to be successful and happy. If they ask tough questions, it is only because they want to confirm that you are making an informed decision. Reframe this as a valuable resource rather than lecturing.
3. Lead with the facts instead of emotional appeals.
Identify the reasons you disliked your initial major. Then share the research you have collected about yourself and your options. If you met with or shadowed a professional in the field, share the information you acquired. This dispels the misconception that you made the decision impulsively, while also helping them learn more about your new program of study.
4. Celebrate the experience.
Mention that nearly half of all college students change their major before they graduate. This will help them understand that this exploration is not only common, but it is also beneficial. Tragically some college students ignore their dissatisfaction, only to have it surface later when it is too late. You, however, have had the courage to proactively look for alternatives, which will improve your motivation, concentration and chances of securing satisfactory employment after graduation.
5. Be realistic.
No career or academic program is perfect. Identify any disadvantages that surfaced in your research to demonstrate that you have examined it from every angle.
6. If some concerns still remain, identify the course of action you will take to address them.
For example, if you learned that the job outlook is only growing at an average rate in your new occupation, outline the internships, employment or co-curricular activities that you will pursue to gain a competitive edge.
7. Provide some peace of mind.
For instance, share that you will be meeting with an advisor to develop a plan of study to ensure that you do not need to extend your graduation date. This again conveys your careful analysis of the decision and reassures your family members that you will not incur additional tuition expenses as the result of the change. Also emphasize the activities you will pursue to verify your decision, such as finding a part-time job related to your new major or enrolling in an introductory class. Continue to share your confirmation over time in case they fear that you will be dissatisfied or change your mind again.
8. Provide specific examples of how they can learn about your new major or career.
Share with your parent(s) the websites that you have visited, such as your university’s catalog, O*Netor the Occupational Outlook Handbook.
9. Ask for their support.
Emphasize that you value your family’s input and hope that they can come to share your enthusiasm about the new career you have chosen.
10. Assess the importance of your own voice and the voice of others.
More than likely, your culture and background will influence your perceptions. Some Americans value independence, while others value communal decision making. Only you can determine the role and importance others will play in the process.
If you have shared with your parents that you changed your major, how did the conversation go? What tips or suggestions would you add to this list?
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